What can I talk about in therapy?

If you've had therapy before, the answer to the question of what you can talk about in therapy might seem obvious. But for those coming to therapy for the first time, it is a common question that can cause concern.

"Do I have to talk about big stuff?"

Everyone has a different view of what is 'big', significant or important and a therapist is not there to judge this. It is perfectly understandable to start with small, current issues and to delve deeper as the therapy relationship strengthens. Share whatever you feel comfortable with!

"Nothing bad has happened this week, I don't know what to talk about"

I've certainly said this to my therapist in the past assuming that therapy is to get all the negative stuff out and processed. But, there can be huge value in sharing the good stuff too, talking about what has gone well in your life can be helpful. It doesn't have to be doom and gloom all the time.

"Can I talk about [insert any subject here]?"

If you feel safe and supported, you are welcome to talk about anything. If a topic that you bring up is outside of the therapist's knowledge then they will let you know this but it might still be useful for you to talk through related feelings. Topics which people are usually tentative about bringing up are sex and their feelings about the therapy. Take this as permission to talk about these things or even just talk about why it is hard to talk about them!

"What if it's too much for my therapist?"

This is not your concern. The therapist's role involves being able to hear difficult things and hold them. We are human and will be impacted by what we hear but we are also trained to contain multitudes of experiences.

"What do other people talk about?"

Anything and everything is talked about in therapy. There are the topics you might expect; work, relationships, family, friends, loss and stress. Then there are those that you might not think are 'important' enough for therapy; television shows, books, movies, hobbies, pets, video games and weekend plans. The lists could keep going but the point is that the time is yours and you have a choice how to use it.

Talking to someone is a way of connecting and the connection in itself is necessary for therapy to be helpful. So whatever you wish to bring, a therapist will listen.