Understanding the "Quarter-Life Crisis"
- nikitamoody
- Jul 4
- 3 min read
Updated: 4 days ago
If you’re in your mid-20s and feeling lost, stuck, or like life hasn’t turned out the way you expected, you’re not alone. As a therapist, I work with a lot of people in their 20s and early 30s experiencing what is often referred to as ‘the quarter-life crisis’.
What is the Quarter-Life Crisis?
The term may sound light-hearted, but the experience can be a big struggle. The quarter-life crisis is a period of deep questioning, emotional upheaval, and inner searching that tends to arise in your mid-20s to early 30s. It often follows a time of major transition: leaving education, entering the workforce, navigating relationships, or living more independently.
It can feel like you have been dropped into a world you expected to be prepared for, grasping for answers but only finding more questions.
It’s a psychological and emotional crossroads, a time when many people start to reflect on who they are, what they want, and whether the life they’re building actually feels right.
How It Shows Up
Everyone will have different experiences depending on history, identity and other factors but there are some commonalities to be found including some of these thoughts:
“I should have it all figured out by now.”
You might think that by this time, you should have a clear plan and sense of who you are, that you should have it all “sorted”.
“Everyone else seems further ahead.”
You might be constantly looking at your peers judging them to be more successful than you, an indication that you are failing in some way.
“Is this all there is?”
As you’re growing up, you might have imagined your future to look a certain way. In your mid-20s, you might start to recognise that life is often not filled with as much ease as you expected. You may have been holding onto hope that once education was done with, life could ‘begin’ but find yourself experiencing new challenges. Sometimes it can feel like you’ve been duped in some way, nobody told you what adulthood was truly like.
All of these thoughts are accompanied by feelings of anxiety, restlessness, disappointment and often, a deep loneliness.
These thoughts and feelings can be overwhelming, leading you to question your worth and purpose.
The Weight of Expectation
For many, the quarter-life crisis is tangled up in grief: mourning the life you thought you’d have by now and perhaps mourning the parts of youth that you never got to experience.
Maybe you imagined being in a stable job, partnered, secure but instead find yourself unsure, single, or in a job that doesn’t feel right. Society often sells a very specific timeline for success, and when your reality doesn’t match that, it can feel like you’ve fallen short.
We often forget that being human isn’t a checklist but a non-linear process filled with twists and turns.
Living with Uncertainty
Uncertainty, not knowing, is not a flaw in your plan but a necessary part of life. It is uncomfortable and anxiety inducing but inevitable.
We all want answers. We want to feel like we’re moving in the “right” direction. But sometimes, clarity doesn’t arrive all at once. It unfolds gradually, as we try things, fail at things, and allow ourselves to change.
Conclusion
If you're navigating a quarter-life crisis, you're not broken, you’re human and you are certainly not alone. Therapy can offer a space to explore the messiness of this season with support, and to reconnect with yourself beneath the noise of expectation.
Reflection questions
How are you (or did you) experiencing the “quarter-life crisis”? What thoughts and feelings are coming up for you?
Where does your idea of “success” come from and is it still relevant for you?
What comparisons are you making to others? How do these comparisons leave you feeling?
Additional resources
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